My Oh My Weddings

Forbidden love – love wins

Myohmyweddings — Thu, 04 Apr 2019 09:54:02 +0000

Forbidden love – love wins

When a couple fall in love but live in fear too. This brave couple prove, love wins

Chelsea and Nikita got engaged on 9th December 2018, at the Northern Ireland seaside resort of Castlerock, and asked me to take their engagement photos. We met in January, on a particularly windswept and dreary day.

The dreary day didn’t cause me too many concerns. I always make sure I and my equipment are wrapped up and protected from the rain, wind and cold. And I knew that the desolate weather could provide some interesting backdrops and lighting.

During the engagement shoot, I got chatting about the attitude to same sex relationships in Northern Ireland, and to their future wedding plans.

I was reminded that gay couples cannot get married in Northern Ireland, despite it being part of the United Kingdom.

Marriage or Civil partnership?

Legally, for Chelsea and Nikita, this means they must go somewhere else to get married. They can have a civil ceremony in Northern Ireland but are not able to get married there. Chelsea and Nikita are considering travelling to Southern Ireland to get married. Same-sex marriage was made legal there on 16 November 2015.
We also talked about homophobic discrimination in Northern Ireland, and the attitude to same-sex couples. Both Chelsea and Nikita feel that Northern Ireland is about 20 years behind England with regard to social attitudes to same-sex relationships. And both felt that the various churches had influence over the way they are treated.

Fear & Safety

The couple told me about where they feel ‘safe’, and where they expect to experience hostility because of their same-sex couple. In the bigger cities they feel that there is more acceptance and a more open attitude to them being a same-sex couple, but in other places including some big towns, there is a real feeling of fear and uneasiness. They both feel they are unable to show any public displays of affection because they have previously had disapproving looks and comments.

The reasons for the homophobic attitudes and behaviour can be discussed another time, but the impact on this young couple, and others like them is they can’t be open about their love for each other. They have to look over their shoulders if they are out together. They have to ignore the comments, the looks, the laughter.

They have to make the decision whether to hold each other’s hand when walking down the street, and put up with the fear of unfavourable comments, put up with the fear of violence, and the uncertainty of how they will be treated.

It seems strange that in this day and age, in part of the United Kingdom, this amount of bigotry and discrimination still exists.

Despite all these difficulties, Chelsea and Nikita are truly happy. Can you see that in their expressions?

Love wins

Their love story? No different from many people. They met through a dating app, and had their first meeting in a car park, where they talked for hours, just getting to know each other. They are now living together, and are looking forward to a happy future, and are starting to plan their wedding.

Blog by Richard Montgomery – www.Richardwallacephotography.co.uk

Images courtesy of Richard Wallace Photography

You can find more hints and tips, pop over to Instagram. We’re on Facebook, and we’re on Twitter. We’re also on IGTV and YouTube as well.

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Make history with your Gay Proposal

Myohmyweddings — Thu, 15 Nov 2018 14:10:59 +0000

Make history with your Gay Proposal

Are proposals the same for straight and LGBT couples?

How do you go about proposing?

Should I get an engagement ring?

What engagement ring should I get? Diamond?

Your proposal, you’ve been together for a while and you’re thinking about proposing or you just can’t wait to start a life together. A few people have asked me “When? When is the right time to propose?” I’m afraid the only answer I can give you this; only you know when the time is right. You just know! Quite often the other person will be thinking about it as well. It shouldn’t be a surprise, but you how you propose might be a little bit of a surprise. What’s your proposal going to look like?

Epic proposal

We’ve all seen the videos on YouTube and Facebook; the huge proposal scenes, the flash mob or the elaborate proposal done in rainbow colours across the sky. Ultimately, your proposal can be absolutely whatever you want it to be, but you really do have a think about what your partner would want (it is about them too!)

Do you want a big proposal, or you do you want to do it in a special place – you can have it. All it takes is a little planning and preparation, that can sometimes be the hardest bit.

At MyOhMy Weddings we specialise in proposals at special and unusual destinations and we make sure that you’ve got a videographer or a photographer capture those special moments for you. Let’s say you want to go back to the place that you had your first date..

How do I do it?

Go back to that restaurant and have a chat with the manager, let whoever’s going to be on staff that day and let them know what you’re planning and how you want to do it. Do you want a sparkler to come out in the dessert, do you want ‘Marry Me’ to be written in chocolate on the dessert place. Or do you want the ring to appear in the bottom of their favourite cocktail? Any of those things can be really wonderful. They mean something to the two of you as a couple.

If you want to go really big, you can start to think about things like signs on the side of buildings or flash mobs. They take a little bit more prep but are absolutely doable, there are plenty of dance troops who would be happy to help. Just be sure to think about what your partner would like. You might want to shout your love to the world, but if they’re going to stand there and be so embarrassed they can’t think straight, then you might want to think about something else! If you know they’ll love it, go for it – make sure you get plenty of video! You’re going to want to capture every second of their reaction.

Intimate and small proposal

Your proposal truly can be whatever it is you want it to be. What about something small and intimate? How about hiding your proposal in the everyday? If you make breakfast for your other half before you set out for work, but on the Saturday have mimosas for breakfast. What about having a nice knife or spoon and engraved with ‘Marry Me?’ It’s just there waiting, waiting, until they see that little inscription and then the fire in their eyes and the light in their face when they do notice what it is you’re asking.

I really like the idea of a scavenger hunt, especially if that day is a special occasion. You can really go to town on hiding little clues around the house or even your local town or village. It becomes little treasure hunt for their gift and you surprise them at the end with your proposal.

There are so many different ways make it personal and special to you as a couple, not cliché and cookie-cutter. Don’t forget to get a photographer or videographer, capture those special moments.

If you feel that you want to chat through some ideas or have no idea as to where to start, please do get in touch. I’ll happily and have a call and we can hash out some ideas as to how you will make your proposal special. As small or as big as you want it to be.

Rings.

The next big hurdle – engagement rings.

For some it can be quite difficult, I know lots of our community wear a ring on the wedding finger anyway. You could upgrade that one, or design something a little bit different. You could get something in silicon as a ‘holding’ ring, and then go shopping together. You could even, in a hurry, get a Haribo ring, just that you’ve got something to propose with and then upgrade it later!

Engagement rings aren’t the be all, what about an engagement watch or engagement earrings, if your partner is not particularly into jewellery, a ring might not be the best option and the only jewellery they might, wear might be their wedding bands.

What next?

So your proposal is amazing, everything goes to plan, you’re going to want to tell the people that are important to you and then word will spread. The questions will be – when are you getting married? Have you set a date? Probably followed by lots of advice, so feel free to keep it secret for a few days at least, as your secret!

A proposal can be private and personal, my key message for is make it personal to you as a couple and think about how your partner is going to feel. Are they going to be embarrassed if you do something over the top or will they be disappointed if you don’t get down on one knee and make an occasion of it?

For some it’s a mutual decision; she leans over and says “Shall we?” “She leans in and says, now we have had the bathroom done I suppose we should!” Flashing cocktails are consumed and the rest is history!

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The Ugly Truth About Gay Weddings

Myohmyweddings — Mon, 29 Oct 2018 12:26:34 +0000

The Ugly Truth About Gay Weddings

Same-sex or gay weddings have been legal in the UK since 2014. However, legal doesn’t always mean open, accepting and welcoming. Homophobic comments, unconscious bias and discrimination are all still alive and kicking in the UK wedding industry.

This topic is very close to my heart, and something that really riles me, I built my business for the sole purpose of breaking down these barriers – the ugly truth around planning and booking your gay wedding.

Gay weddings.

Why do we call it a gay wedding? It’s just a wedding. It’s something that is still developing and changing in our culture and the right to weddings is still being contested and fought for the world over.

We recently conducted a survey of LGBT+ couples that had been married in the last couple of years, I’ll run through some of those shocking results and experiences with you and then we’ll speak about some top tips and ways that you can try to avoid some of these problem areas, and make your wedding planning experience pleasurable without any underlying prejudices.

You would think in this day and age that most people are on board with the idea of same sex marriage, especially as the law changed and now we can use the ‘M’ word, no longer civil partnerships necessarily, but can be marriages. Same-sex couples can get married, but there are still venues and suppliers that are struggling with the concept of same-sex weddings.

All the couples we interviewed as part of our study stated that they experienced some sort of homophobia and uncomfortable awkwardness during their wedding planning experience.

100%, that’s huge, right?

Some of the respondees to our survey said that they spoke to venues that have never held a same-sex wedding and never had anybody from the LGBT+ community come to them about an LGBT+ wedding. That’s shocking too, don’t you think?

Man, woman, other?

Let’s not get started on the non-gender-neutral booking forms and language that venues particularly, but suppliers as well use. Everything is listed Husband and Wife or Mr. and Mrs. It’s not Spouse. It’s not Client One or Two. This is still in 2018 people. Why have we still not got to grips with having gender neutral booking forms? Venues and suppliers are missing out on big business by using this subtle and felt bias.

We even had couples saying suppliers and venues cancelled their booking once they found out that it was a same-sex marriage. One couple had the venue and the suppliers for their cake put up the prices because they knew that it was a same-sex marriage. That’s atrocious.

What strategies can you use to avoid awkward conversations?

You could use a company like ours. We pre-vet all our suppliers and venues so we know when we send clients over, that they are going to get a warm response. They are going to get gender-neutral language, and we’re working with these companies to try and promote their openness and their support for the LGBT+ community and weddings. They’re using same-sex couples in their marketing, and they’re really making sure that they’re not offensive or off putting in any way, shape or form. They are investing in order to capitalise on the £18billion pounds available in the next 15 years.¹

How do you as a couple deal with this issue?

Although we agree, it’s not right necessarily, the best way to deal with venues and suppliers is to make it very clear from the outset who you are as a couple and what your makeup of your relationship is. For example; you might get in touch with a venue, by email and you might say,

“Hi, my name’s Lorna and my fiancée, (with two e’s) and I would like to come and visit you next Friday and have a look around. We’re interested in holding our marriage with you.”

Towards the end of the email I might write, “Kindness Regards, Lorna and Sarah”, this is not ambiguous in any way, shape or form. The recipient knows from the outset that we are two females looking to marry each other and they can respond appropriately. It gives their events team a heads up and they know what they’re expecting, and I would expect that they adapt their language appropriately.

If they don’t and they continue to make you feel awkward or when you arrive there or you both presenting is a big shock, I would seriously reconsider whether to have my wedding at their venue.

You could also ask your wedding venue or supplier whether they have conducted or been involved in any other same-sex marriages. Have they got images, testimonials or references? This should be a big indicator to the venue that you’re interested, but also, you’d like to know what their experience is around handling the LGBT+ community and the needs, wishes and wants of our couples.

If you get sent through a form and it says, Name of the Bride, Name of the Groom, it’s up to you whether you push it back to them and say, “Please can we have a gender-neutral form or whether you fill your details in. But maybe have a chat with the events planner at the venue and say, “I suggest that you get a gender-neutral form for when you’ve got LGBT+ couples”. They might really appreciate that tip. We can but ask, and we can but strive for change. It’s quite a bold move and it’s not for everybody, but if you’re feeling like it, let’s try and make a difference.

A top tip – if you have preferred pronouns, it’s a good idea to include them,

“Kindest Regards, Alex and Sarah. Preferred pronouns, she/her and she/her”.

It helps the venue understand what you prefer to be called, what you prefer to be known as and just clears up any awkwardness and misunderstanding from the outset. Again, it’s a shame that we should have to do this, but it does makes for smoother sailing and further down the line.

Again, if you get any push back from a supplier or a vendor when you spell out your relationship that clearly, then I would seriously consider whether you’re going to part with a significant amount of money and do business with them.

Thanks for reading, please do pass this on if you feel any couples planning their wedding or, venues and suppliers who will find it useful. This is an uncomfortable topic, but it does need to be talked about. It does need to be aired and I hope you can use some of those strategies to try and remove that uncomfortable awkwardness before you even get involved in face to face meetings.

For more tips and ideas head over to our website or on Facebook and Instagram and get involved in the community.

If there are any venues who would like tips on how to be more appealing to the Community, we offer a service and can review your booking procedures and your policy documents, as well as staff training from Board level to Front of House.

Please do get in touch.

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How to sort your Wedding cake in 3 steps

Myohmyweddings — Tue, 23 Oct 2018 07:48:13 +0000

How to sort your Wedding cake in 3 steps

Today I’ve got a wonderful topic for you, it’s Wedding Cake, here’s 3 things that you need to be aware of

– save money

– create a wow

– you wedding cake – your way.

Cake is not cheap.

There’s my headline – cake is not cheap! Lots of people want a real bargain when it comes to wedding cake, but it’s expensive. Butter, cream, all the work that goes into it, from the design to the actual making of your cake can take hours. What you’re actually paying for is the artistry and the quality when it comes to a wedding cake. You want it to be seamless, you want it to be perfection. And that takes a lot of person hours, so cake is not cheap. Don’t try and drive too hard a bargain. If your wedding cake designer are giving you a cake, a whole wedding cake for less than 50 quid, it’s not going to be great. So, make sure if you’re going to have a wedding cake and you want it to be a statement element of your big day, set aside that little bit in your budget for it.

Make sure you aren’t eating cake for weeks!

I get people ask me all the time, how can we make cake a cost-effective inclusion in our wedding and to make sure it gets eaten and not wasted or eating it for days. There’s a couple of ways.

Firstly, you could have your cake as your dessert. If you have the cutting after your main course, perhaps in amongst the speeches, the venue will take the cake away for you and the caterers will slice and can present it with the coffee, so you can have that dessert and save money on your per head charges for your meal and then everybody gets a piece of cake too.

What you could also do is have, if you’re having individual cakes like cupcakes or individually covered, you could have them as your favours, so you don’t have favours on the table, but you make sure everyone goes away with an individual cake at the end of the day.

If you don’t fancy the first two options, you could buy some boxes and have those slices of cake boxed and wrapped for your guests to take away and maybe enjoy the next day with a cup of tea while they reflect on what an amazing wedding day they have just been to.

All of this guarantees you’re not wasting lots of cake and you’re not bringing home 50 servings of vanilla sponge, which with the best will in the world and me as a cake lover, would even struggle to!

With cake – Size does matter!

Tip 3 – size does matter. What do I mean by that? An impactive cake is usually a good couple of tiers and usually odd numbers look best, most pleasing to the eye. So you’re talking three or five tiers. But what you don’t want is oodles of cake and spend an absolute fortune on your cake but you’ve only got 50 people coming to your wedding. That’s not cost effective. Top tip – You can have a few layers of cake and you can have some false layers put in.

Fake it

False or fake layers are polystyrene, and they are covered exactly the same way that you would cover a normal cake and you can’t tell the difference, but all it does is give you that extra volume and height and creates big impact when it comes to your cake and how it looks on your special day. So that’s an insider secret for you.

And finally, don’t forget to ask about allergies. If any of your guests have nut allergies or quite a common one is an almond allergy. If you’re having a fruit cake and it’s covered in marzipan, you’re going to have problems. So ask about allergies. Lots of cake makers now are quite comfortable making gluten-free and lactose-free, so they can always make either one tier or a tiny cake just for those guests with allergies. It’s absolutely workable.

Wedding cake’s one of those things that people expect to see, but if you’re not that fussed about it, don’t spend thousands and thousands of pounds on it. Alternatively, if you want to make a bang at your meal or in your reception, a wedding cake, huge wedding cake in the middle of the room is one way to do that. So whatever suits you and whatever suits your day,

your wedding day is your time to stand out and be proud.

For inspiration head to Instagram. We’re on Facebook, and we’re on Twitter. We’re also on IGTV and YouTube as well or download your free wedding planner tool here and start getting organised!

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Why wait? Benefits of a Last Minute Wedding

Myohmyweddings — Mon, 13 Aug 2018 18:17:09 +0000

Why wait? Benefits of a Last Minute Wedding

Welcome back to MyOhMy weddings we are the UK’s only dedicated wedding planning service for the LGBT+ community. And today I’d like to talk to you a bit about last minute weddings, why wait for your big day?

You’ve asked the question, you’ve gotten a yes. So, let’s go for it, why wait?

Why Wait?

You can reasonably plan a wedding in 12 to 16 weeks. Yep, three to four months is all you need. If you’ve got a little bit of flexibility around where you want to get married or certainly where you want to have your reception, it’s absolutely doable. I know some couples and the thought of spending a whole year planning and waiting for an event that they are so excited about right now does not appeal. It makes perfect sense not to delay!

We offer at MyOhMy Weddings, a two-week wedding planning service, essentially you give us the dates that you’re looking at and we’ll go away and intensively, work on your wedding and for a really short space of time, we’ll cram all of your appointments in together. so it’s a bit intense and you might have to take a couple of days from work and if we can get the appointments over a weekend then we certainly will do. But it means that you don’t have to spend the next year all consumed in wedding planning and it can be that way sometimes if you planning the wedding new self, you can feel like you’re spending every weekend go to venues or speaking to people that are going to make your appointment and make your outfits or speaking to different suppliers at different time and some couples are just not into that .

Catherine Pound Photography Wedding shoes

Don’t wait to save money

If you work hard and play hard and you just want to be together and be married, then a last minute wedding’s definitely something you need to think about. You also get fantastic deal booking late notice, unfortunately there are cancellations that happening in the wedding world, and also some venues will be struggling to fill different dates, especially if its towards the autumn or winter months. You can get some good value for money. You still get entirely the same package, but probably at a reduced cost. And that’s what we work really hard for is if it is going to be late notice and it’s unlikely the venue will fill those spaces we’ll work to get you the best possible price on not only the venue, but you’re catering your florist, even your outfits have to get a wriggle on with your outfits and it’s tight to order clothes. But you can certainly have something made and you’ve certainly got time to buy something off the rack and have it tailored or altered to the way that you want, So yeah, it can be really intense and really exciting.

You also might want to think about how you’re going to fund your wedding. If you’ve got some cash and it’s ready to go, why not do a last minute wedding? Equally, if you’re going to spend the next 12 months saving for a wedding, you could always think about an interest free credit card and pay that off over the next 12 months as kind of a reverse saving plan. I know couples that have done that very successfully, and have made it work so they haven’t had to wait for that big day and not have to compromise on anything either equally they haven’t had to spend 12 months, 18 months saving super hard when they can just be paying it off super hard. I’m obviously not advocating anyone gets in any horrific debt over it, but if you’ve got that option open to you, it’s always worth thinking about.

What do you need to remember if you’re going to have a last minute wedding?

If you’re having civil ceremony, i.e. it not in a religious venue you need to make sure that you give notice at your local registry office and that needs to be at least 28 days before your planned ceremony. So that’s your only real time restriction is the 28 days that your intention to marry needs to be displayed in your local registry office and you need to have lived in that district for seven days before you can give notice. If you’ve just moved into an area seven days, then you can pop down to the registry office in your district.

Got the date but no official?

What happens if you find the perfect venue at the perfect price and your guests can all do that particular date, but there’s no registrar available? Well, you can think about looking at when the registrars are available and having a really private service to do the legal side of it where you make your legal vows to each other then the signing the records and legal bits and then have a celebrant come along to your venue and you can give very personal vows and you can really make the ceremony in your own. It gives you a lot more freedom around timings and readings, music, and actually the words that you say to each other. They don’t have to be, the legally required words plus the personal bit. They can be completely around you and completely bespoke, so quite often I’ll have couples that will get married in the registry office the day before or the day after.

Their celebrations are at some point in that week leading up to and just with a couple of close friends or family and then they have their wedding on the actual date in their chosen venue, surrounded by all the guests that they wanted to invite. So there are definitely ways around it. Plus, you get to say nice things to each other twice, which I think is really special, really magical. So that’s it. There are lots benefits of not waiting for your wedding; and the stress and the time consuming-ness is not a factor and it’s done, and it’s planned, and it arrives in the blink of an eye and it’s just amazing and incredible for your guests too. They get the excitement of the proposal and the idea of you get married. Then they get their invitation through the door and then they get a wedding in a really short space of time. So they get to ride that excitement journey with you as well.

Last minute specialists

MyOhMy Weddings specialize in last minute weddings. So if you’ve got something in mind and you still want to get married this year, please do get in touch. We’ll be happy to help. That applies to anything. If you’ve got queries and questions or you just want to make sure that your day runs perfectly. Please do get in touch and we’ll be more than happy to help you out with advice and book in a call . If you find that helpful or if you know anyone that’s just got engaged and can’t contain their excitement, please do pass on this blog. Head over to YouTube and hit subscribe and you’ll get weekly content also.

You can find more hints and tips, pop over to Instagram. We’re on Facebook, and we’re on Twitter. We’re also on IGTV and YouTube as well.

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How Much Will My Wedding Cost? Same-sex budget advice

Myohmyweddings — Fri, 27 Jul 2018 13:24:46 +0000

How Much Will My Wedding Cost? Same-sex budget advice

Let’s talk budgets, money, often the sticking point of any couple’s wedding planning journey.

The big question How much will my wedding cost?

Honestly, there is no exact science to setting your wedding budget but I can give you some guidance and a little bit of a steer to try and put you in the right ballpark.

At MyOhMy Weddings, as you may know, we only work with our preferred partners. That means we’ve already vetted them and they already know what we’re about. They already know that all of our clients are LGBTQ+ couples. We’ve already gotten rid of that awkwardness and supposition, and we make sure that they’re using gender neutral language, and we make sure that they are inclusive and active in advertising and marketing same-sex marriages. Along with those preferred partnerships, we also talk a lot with them about price and costing, so we’re in a reasonably strong position to be able to talk to you about your wedding budget.

What is the average?

On average, a wedding in the UK costs somewhere between £25,000 and £30,000 (2017 -2018 static) and I’ll caveat that with they were hetero wedding statics. There is not specific data as yet on same-sex marriages that is reliable, however the general bookings -venues etc. are fairly standard in price and consistent enough for me to share with you. We’ll go on “general” figures for the time being, so we can assume between £25,000 and £30,000 for you wedding, which seems a lot, but equally it doesn’t seem that much, let me explain. You could easily spend £100,000 on your wedding depending on what you want to spend on your venue, how comfortable you want to make your guests, depends on how many extras you add in your entertainment and the type of food and drink you order . It really depends on what your priorities are for making your special day.

The biggest expense you’ll encounter will be your venue.

Most venues will do a wedding package, so the venue cost is inclusive of with the food and drink. However, some venues will just do venue rental alone, and that’ll be somewhere in the region of between £2,500 and £5,000 pounds on average. That will get you the rental of the space, for the day usually, sometimes exclusive use also. Really check the fine print carefully and make sure you know what you’re getting for that money. The next biggest expense will be food and drinks. Really, there is no clear way of putting a definition on food and drink cost, it really depends on what you want to provide, in general, you should be budgeting around about £100 per person i.e. 250 guests multiplied by 100 pounds, you can do the math as to how much that’s going to cost you for food and drink. That’s based on your standard three-course dinner, coffee, wine with dinner, and fizz and canapes before the reception.

If you book an independant caterer, you can often negotiate that price around, equally if your venue doesn’t have its own license and you end up buying your wine in, the cost can vary quite significantly. As I said, I’m just giving you generic budgeting ideas. You can reduce costs by having a buffet, bowl food serve or sharing plates. Exchanging champagne for prosecco and exchanging wine choices can also have a significant effect on price.

Last minute bookings, great for the budget

If you get engaged and you can’t bear to wait, and you want to get married last minute, booking late you can pick up some interesting deals. You can also pick up some really interesting, intriguing venues. People often go for the standard manor house or the standard registry office, and those tend to get booked up really quickly. You don’t want to wait for your wedding and you want to do it either between six and twelve weeks? Then you can pick up some really good deals. You can pick up some absolutely incredible places. You can pick up DeVere venue for the month after next, providing your bans already read and you’ve got your guests and you’re ready to go, you can get married at a City building in London, it’s a beautiful, incredible art deco venue in London. You could save for a year to pay for your wedding or you would take out a zero percent credit card for 12 months and pay for it that way – depends what you are comfortable with and if you can bear to wait!! We specialise in last minute bookings and helping, check out our packages.

If you don’t want to wait, you can get some real deals through late booking.

Out of this world weddings? Well out of the country

Another option for your wedding that really opens up opportunity around budgets, is if you want to get married abroad. It’s something that can be absolutely magical. Getting out of the country can be great for creating memories for you but also for your guests, they’re having like a mini-break or a holiday to share that time with you. You can hire villas in Spain and Italy for the whole week and have your guests come out and join you, and spend some quality time with you. I recently got a couple to Central Park with a really small group of friends. Central Park wedding, cocktails on the roof terrace, and restaurant dinner for just a small collective. That was really intimate, but again, you can make it as lavish or as intimate as you want it to be.

Your free Budget Sheet

As a guide on where to start around your budgeting, hopefully you’ll have already seen the video that I did about top three tips. If not, go back and have a look. It gives you a good start of the big three key topics and some conversations that you should be having with each other to get on the same page. That’ll also give you an idea as to whether you’re wanting a big wedding, a small wedding, and where the money’s coming from. That will help shape your budget. Jump over onto the home page and there you can download a free planning sheet and a free budgeting sheet.

It gives you, quite helpfully, the average spent on outfits, flowers, venues, caterers, transport, all those sorts of things. You can either think, “We’re going to get married abroad, so we don’t really need to think about X, Y, and Z,” or, “Yes, we’re going to get married in the UK. We’re going to have it all in one place, so we might necessarily not need a lot of these things but we might need to spend a bit more in other places. It’ll give you an idea of what you might need to be thinking about spending money on, and hopefully, be able to narrow down a bit of the budget for you.

Do think about wedding planners. Most wedding planners work on a percentage of your overall budget however, at MyOhMy Weddings have a fixed fee, and we aim to make our own fee in-built in the value and savings that we can get for you across your venue, across your supplies packages. Really make your wedding planners work for you to get the best deals, they’re also really good people for keeping an eye on your bottom line, making sure you’re spending your money wisely, also to keep track of when the final payment and things are due for your wedding. It can be very easy to get lost in the excitement and forget to settle up those couple of weeks before your big day.

I hope that’s helped as a guide as to how much things can start to cost. If you need any more help, drop me a line and I’d be happy to point you in the right direction.

You can find more hints and tips, pop over to Instagram. We’re on Facebook, and we’re on Twitter. We’re also on IGTV and YouTube as well.

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The post How Much Will My Wedding Cost? Same-sex budget advice appeared first on My Oh My Weddings.

Don’t Stress when thinking about what to wear for your LGBT+ Wedding?

Myohmyweddings — Thu, 19 Jul 2018 05:50:35 +0000

Don’t Stress when thinking about what to wear for your LGBT+ Wedding?

What on Earth are you going to wear? Dont stress… we’ve got all you need to know here

Let’s talk about a crucial factor of your Wedding Day – what not to wear, but most importantly, what to wear for your big day.

This is one of the questions that we get asked the most from our LGBTI couples

“What on earth are we going to wear, and where do we go about finding it?”

No Rules

Okay, so first things first, what are you going to wear? Are you both going to wear dresses? Are you both going to wear suits? Are you going to wear shorts because it’s casual? Trainers, not trainers? It’s an absolute minefield! One of the absolute joys around LGBTQ+ weddings is that there are no real rules. There are no real traditions yet, so you really get to make your own. The other side of that same coin is, this can be utterly terrifying. Because there are no rules, you’ve also got very little guidance, and I’ll hopefully clear that up for you a little bit. One of my couple was recently featured in the Huffington Post, as evidence that the rules really are there to be broken! (Couple 13!)

Firstly – So you!

Number one, and for me, it’s probably one of the most important, is whatever you choose to wear on your big day, it’s got to suit you and your personality. If you absolutely despise wearing a suit, and you wear a suit for work every day and can’t wait to get out of it, or you find it constricting, please don’t wear one on your wedding day. It’s got to be right for you, it’s got to suit your personality, and it’s got to suit your style.

If you are ’50s chic, go for ’50s chic in your wedding day. If you are ultimate glamour, do that for your wedding day. The list is absolutely endless, and the possibilities are huge. It’s really got to suit your personality and who you two are as a couple. If you are fun loving, gregarious, outgoing, let’s make your outfits say that. If you’re quite reserved and quite demure, then your outfit should say that, too. So, it’s really, really got to suit your personality, your style, and really communicate who you both are as a couple.

Don’t have to match but they do need to compliment

Number two, the two outfits you choose really should complement each other. The photographs that will be taken on the day, you’ll have with you forever you want to look like you ‘belong’ together right? These photos could be gorgeous to look back on in the future, but not so much if the two outfits don’t suit each other -cringe! So, it’s really important you chose colours carefully also, if you don’t want to see each other’s outfits, choose an intermediary that can picture both of them and can make sure you’re both on the right track. Whether that be your wedding planner or whether that’s one of your best people, pull someone in, and get them to see both outfits just make sure you complement each other.

Make sure your colours are in the same palette; that your hues are complementing each other. If you’re both going for lime green, make sure they’re the same or a very similar lime green. Otherwise, it’s not going to work, and it’s going to look awful. Bright colour – don’t be afraid of colour, and who’s to say you must have white, or grey, or navy. Definitely, a pop of colour can make the wedding look amazing. But you’ve really got to be careful and make sure you’re complementing as a pair.

Complimenting

The ‘Where’ for the wear

Third tip, make sure that your outfits complement the venue that you’ve chosen. If you’ve gone for something on the beach, that’s really light and romantic, you don’t really want stuffy and constricted outfits. They’re really going to jar with the look and feel of your wedding, so try and make sure it fits in. Equally, if you’ve gone for somewhere uber posh, you’ve gone for a high-class hotel with amazing service, and you’ve got amazing rooms, incredible food, shorts and flip-flops are probably going to jar a little bit. That’s not to say you can’t dress down a suit and make it more comfortable, make it more you, but just think about how you’re going to sit against that backdrop of your stunning venue choice.

The Bonus

Lastly – as bonus tip – your outfits have got to fit you! Not just being the right size off the peg, but truly fit you, be shaped and hug/ cover all the right bits. Set aside some extra money in your budget not only to purchase your outfits but to also get them tailored, to that end I’d recommend suits are tailored two weeks before the wedding. Make sure that the trouser length fits with the shoes you have, that the sleeve length fits with the shirts you have chosen, that the shirts are even fitted properly. They will make all the difference on the day. It’ll mean you don’t stand here fiddling around trying to adjust, or trying to untuck or re-tuck. They’ll just make that you are looking effortlessly amazing in every single one of your shots, and all throughout the day.

If you’re having a dress fitted and altered, most tailors and seamstresses will need about six weeks to do that, so make sure you’ve scheduled that time into your planning and really try hard not to lose or put on any weight in those last couple of weeks, don’t think scales – think tape measure and inches! It’s really important that you try and stay steady so that your outfits fit you perfectly.

There are loads of cheats we can use around outfits as well. To make sure that your top’s not going to fall down, or to make sure that that top button stays buttoned. To make sure that your handkerchief sits beautifully in your pocket. To make sure your flowers stay fresh. Whatever it is you want, give me a shout, and I’m happy to share some tips. Your tailor should be able to help you, and quite often the photographers will know a few sneaky tricks as well. But don’t be afraid to use double-sided tape either. I’ve saved a lot of people’s outfits with double-sided tape and emergency stitching.

Lastly, whatever you wear on your day has got to make you feel like the best you. The best version of you on your very best day. Whether that’s feeling beautiful, glamorous, whether you feel your most powerful and strong. Think about what you look like on your very best day, and that image will be you on your wedding day. All of that will be assisted by an outfit that fits your personality. Something that complements the person you’re stood next to, who you are making vows to. Something that fits your venue, and it fits your body. It is tailored well, and it’s not going to shift anywhere. That’s how you will feel the best you on your wedding day.

You can download a free planning and budget sheet on the website, absolutely free. If you have any questions or content suggestions, please do get in touch.

Hope that helps. If you want more hints and tips, pop over to Instagram. We’re on Facebook, and we’re on Twitter.

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The post Don’t Stress when thinking about what to wear for your LGBT+ Wedding? appeared first on My Oh My Weddings.

Three steps – where to start planning your wedding

Myohmyweddings — Tue, 29 May 2018 13:34:08 +0000

Three steps – where to start planning your wedding

Love is love, here are tips on the 3 things you must know before you start planning your same-sex wedding.

Planning a wedding can feel like a task, ensuring your same-sex wedding is everything you ever dreamed is possible, here are three steps to get you started.

Newly Engaged?

I’m Lorna Reeves of My Oh My Weddings. This post is specifically dedicated to those of you who are perhaps newly engaged, those of you that have been engaged for a while but are really starting to think about planning your wedding. Where on earth do you start?

Today I am going to give you three main tips for how to start planning your wedding, your big day.

Here at My Oh My Weddings we work with companies and suppliers be that florists, photographers, venues that not only accept LGBT clients – everybody should be accepting – we work with companies that not only accept LGBTQ+ clients, but are really pro, welcoming and supportive. We want to work with companies, venues, florists, photographers that support the cause, drive forward equality and ensure that absolutely every couple is individual, is unique and is celebrated.

Where to start?

Okay. Where do you get started?

So your three top tips that you need to start thinking about and I need both of you to go and grab a pen and paper, do it on your i-pad, you really need to go through this exercise.

Step One – Gotta Have Faith?

The first big deal-breaker that you need to have a think about is religion, no religion and what your beliefs are around marriage and the wedding. If not religion is spirituality going to play a part in your big day?

Some people assume they know what their other half believes and they assume where their moral compass and where their beliefs lie. It’s not until you really start talking about marriage and how you incorporate that, that these things start to come to the surface. And these really are fundamentals. Time to make sure you are both on the same page!

Step Two – Size does matter!

It’s the worst thing in the world when one of you wants a huge lavish affair with hundreds of people and pink flamingos and it’s all singing, all dancing, and the other one of you just wants the two of you on a beach in the middle of nowhere. Either is absolutely amazing and there’s a big sliding scale in between the two, but you really need to be honest with yourself. What are you going to be comfortable with and what do you want to celebrate your day? Have a think about it. Write it down. The two of you need to talk, when you close your eyes and pitcure your day, what do you see? When you’ve got some idea of where you both sit on the scale, you can start to negotiate.

Step 3 – It’s All About the Money

The third big thing, the real bone-cruncher, is, of course, money. How are you going to fund your day? What sort of costs are you looking at? Where will you be comfortable price-wise? Have a think, have an estimate. The last survey published by GovUK actually put the average wedding at between £20,000 and £50,000 and it is a huge scale. Where you are comfortable. You can have a wedding for under £3,000. It will be much smaller, a little casual, but if it’s what you want then absolutely go for it but you completely need to see where both of you stand on this matter. Will family expect to pay and will they be offended it they do not get that opportunity? Now is the time to start talking about it.

Time to talks, talk about the big three:
1) Religion and beliefs. Is there anything you really want to incorporate into your big day?
2) The size. How big do you want your wedding to be? Would be more comfortable in a small group or do you really not mind and you want to celebrate with as many people as possible?
3) Cost. How much can you afford to spend and how are you going to think about funding it? Is it something you are going to save up for and pay it all off or are you going to take out a loan or credit card and you want to do this as soon as possible and you’ll pay it off over the coming year or so?

From there, when you’ve had a think and you’ve had a talk, everything else can be arranged and negotiated. You can really start to map your day and have a feel for how you want your day to look once you’re both on the same page.

Break the rules

Next, you can move on to the exciting bit where you can be really creative. The wonderful thing about same-sex wedding being legalised is that there are no traditions, there are no rules. Gender roles go completely out of the window. It’s time to make your own traditions. Who says you have to have a best man? Who says you have to have a bridesmaid? What about a bride brigade? Or an ‘I do’ crew? Or a best woman? It really is completely up to you. There are no rules. You can throw out the etiquette book and really start to make this day your own. It’s about celebrating the two of you as a couple, what you want to bring to the world and celebrating with family and friends and the people who are going to support you through your marriage.

Wedding Planners

Wedding planners are there for the two of you as a couple. A wedding planner, like us, will advocate everything specifically for you. We will go to venues and ensure you get the best possible value deal for what you want as a couple. Save time, let us do all the leg work, research and trawling. We will make sure that your vision is maintained throughout the whole process. There’s no compromising. If you say a particular shade of pink, that’s what the wedding planner is there to ensure that you get. Your day is about you, about you as a couple and your wedding will fight that for you.

They have also got umpteen contacts and the most valuable thing your wedding planner will give you, there’s two things actually, one will be a time-saver. No more spending hours and hours, hours and hours, planning, researching, looking for venues. Your wedding planner has lots of contacts for you already. Hope over to www.myohmyweddings.com. We have a venue finding service where we can have a look at venues in your area, the areas that you are looking to get married in, to suit all kinds of budgets and we will make sure you get the best possible price and we will save you massive amounts of time.

A wedding planner will also, secondly, make sure that your day is stress-free. You can just kick back and enjoy the process. It doesn’t matter how involved you want to be. Use our services and we will present you with a load of choices. You get the fun bit. You get to say whether you want pink or blue. You don’t have to go and find the suppliers that will supply pink and blue. We will save you time and we will save you money. Come and find us on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter @MyOhMyWeddings We can help

You’ll be on your way to planning your perfect day, celebrating you, celebrating individuals.

Download your free Planning tool and budget sheets by signing up to the mailing list that will get you off to a flying start. If you need any help at all, you know where to find us and we’ll be more than happy to help

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The post Three steps – where to start planning your wedding appeared first on My Oh My Weddings.

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